Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
