I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize