O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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