I am puke
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
