***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
