I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
