Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
