i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
