This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
