I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
