the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize