We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
