I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
