Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
