can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
