Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
