His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
