Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
