Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
