Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
