y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
