i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
