So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
