you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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