Sry I called you an 8
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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