jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
