Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
