You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
