you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Randomize
