honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
