Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need to calm my uterus...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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