so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
