So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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