I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
