From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
