I'm going to jail i love you
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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