Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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