Porn is love you can see.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
love makes seman taste better
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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