You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
