I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
