Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
