I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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