I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize