i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
