So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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