I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
