Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
