dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You're a waste of cheezeits
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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