He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She's just so happy...and so naked.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
