He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
my poor anus
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
