question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I would ride that face into the sunset
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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