i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
