Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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