I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
