Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
