we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
