One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
