Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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