4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
