His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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